There I am and there she is. My mom, my sweet and beautiful mom who is gone. No longer a part of my reality but a part of my vivid memories. I love her so much. I still can't believe she's gone. I don't think I will ever get use to it.
Looking at her, she seems so angelic and lovely. I know there were times that we didn't get along...at all. But, now that she's gone I can't, even if I try to, conjure up any negative feelings toward her. She brought me here into this world, she tried her best and she did what she knew. I love her deeply for that. I wish she were here.
Looking at her, she seems so angelic and lovely. I know there were times that we didn't get along...at all. But, now that she's gone I can't, even if I try to, conjure up any negative feelings toward her. She brought me here into this world, she tried her best and she did what she knew. I love her deeply for that. I wish she were here.
My Grandma Pat is to the left and still living in Santa Rosa, California, with my Grandpa Donald. My mom and me and my Grandma Bee to the right, my mom's mom.
Can you believe my Grandma Bee just died this September right after I brought Will home? This was for the best though, because she was just wasting away in the corner of a nursing home. In just five years, my mom's husband Jerry has passed, my mom's dad, my mom and then her mom. It's just life.
Can you believe my Grandma Bee just died this September right after I brought Will home? This was for the best though, because she was just wasting away in the corner of a nursing home. In just five years, my mom's husband Jerry has passed, my mom's dad, my mom and then her mom. It's just life.
This is Ginnie, my mom's best friend for life. She's on the left with her daughter Jessica. I couldn't get a hold of her after my mom passed away and I tried so hard. I found five phone numbers for her and they were all wrong. I knew the day was coming....I got home after church about two weeks after finishing up my mom's estate sale and service. She was hysterical on my answering machine wondering why my mom's phone was disconnected.
I called her back, nervously, and I told her she passed on. Ginnie literally started screaming and crying out over the phone, I just waited and tried hard to compose myself and I told her I was so sorry for her loss. She calmed herself a bit and then we talked about some memories and that was that.
I called her back, nervously, and I told her she passed on. Ginnie literally started screaming and crying out over the phone, I just waited and tried hard to compose myself and I told her I was so sorry for her loss. She calmed herself a bit and then we talked about some memories and that was that.
This is how I remember my mom the most. With her beautiful hair. Her makeup, her clothes. I use to sit on the toilet and watch her do her makeup all the time. It was the eighties so she wore all tones of eyeshadow and eyeliner and mascara and sometimes false lashes.
And now my daughters do the same thing, they watch me do my morning routine. I love it so.
And now my daughters do the same thing, they watch me do my morning routine. I love it so.
I can't believe how I miss her. I always will no matter how much time goes by. She is one of the most familiar people to me, as your mom is to you. She's my mom a part of me, a huge part of me.
Sometimes I still have to ask mylelf, "is she really gone?" It was just so sudden, maybe that's the difference.
Here we are having a sweet moment at my wedding almost fourteen years ago.
I love you mom.
What I love most today is my mom and me....
Sometimes I still have to ask mylelf, "is she really gone?" It was just so sudden, maybe that's the difference.
Here we are having a sweet moment at my wedding almost fourteen years ago.
I love you mom.
What I love most today is my mom and me....
Shauna, I kid you not that my mother had that same outfit from the second to last photo. Moms just do there best even when it seems to us they aren't doing their best. Sorry you had to lose your mom so early. Hugs from this corner of the states.
ReplyDeleteI too, am so sorry you lost your mom so early. I also agree that most moms are doing the best they can for their children. I love my mom so much and I can't imagine losing her right now.
ReplyDeleteI love your attitude and outlook on her passing, so sudden, so unexpected and yet you seem to be at peace.
And what a blessing to have a new life to be focusing on at her passing. Probably SO hard and stressful, but a sweet boy to hold and cuddle. OH BOY does he look like YOU! Even the shape of your heads as babies is the same. He looks SO much like you!
Beautiful post. Love you Shauna!
Baby Shauna is PRECIOUS!!!!!! So cute to see all these photos, now I can say yes, Will does look like you. You are my sister through and through Shauna, always remember that, you and Thira both are not alone, Margo, Jeannette, and of course Glenn love you so much.
ReplyDeleteYou were and are the picture of grace through all you've been through this year. I love you and am beyond lucky to watch and learn from you, truly. Sending all my love to you especially today.
Shauna, what a touching and loving post. You can tell by these pictures how much your mom adored you!! You are such a beautiful person inside and out. She will always be with you. My dad has been gone for 11 years and not a day go by that I don't feel his presence in my day to day life. Hugs, my friend.
ReplyDeleteShauna, I don't even have the words to say, because these pictures just left me breathless. It was so special of you to share them with us. I had quite the laugh imagining your mother and her many made-over looks.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship between mothers and daughters is so precious. The funny part is that I think I am only now truly beginning to understand the lessons that my mother taught me when I was younger.
I promise I haven't dropped off of the grid - the last few weeks have just been...busy. I'm not sure if it was the change of seasons or what, but suddenly blogging and what have you just felt like so much work!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
A beautiful dedication to your mother. I am sorry she is gone, even if it is a part of life it doesn't make her passing any less painful.
ReplyDeleteIt is so very wonderful that you have all of these photos, and yes the 80's were a fun time to learn about make-up and clothing (whew luckily a good bit of that has gone by the wayside).
This just broke my heart and I'm crying my eyes out! but the the 80s references made me smile! I remember those days, Ooh yes. I'm still so sorry for your losses this year.
ReplyDeletePS: hope you got the giveaway sorted!