What I love most today is the Piano and the "Tiger Mom...."

For a lot of us the piano is a fleeting thought, an instrument, a really big instrument at that.  For three of my children the piano is much more.  As a parent I've always wanted a few key things for my children.  At the top of that list has been to help them develop their talents.  So far, it's been one of the hardest things we've endeavored to do as parents, but it's also been very worth it. 

                My oldest son, Kalen has been playing for six years. My oldest daughter, Gwyneth has been playing for five and our second son, Reece has been playing for seven months.  They are by no means concert pianists.  However, the older two have put in a lot of years, hours and hard work and as a result they are playing the piano very well.  It has been such a joy to see them progress. And one aspect about this journey with the piano I love most is that I've learned that there are ebbs and flows in the learning curve.  Sometimes the kids are super motivated to practice and then a couple months will go by and it's like pulling teeth to get them to practice.  It's been no different with the three that can play the piano.  And since we want all of our children to play, I know what I'm in for.  

                Now, back to developing talents being hard on parents.  When people listen to my oldest son play we sometimes hear, "wow, he's really talented, he's got a gift."  Talented; yes.  Gifted?  I don't know.  And this is where it gets tricky.  This may sound crazy but I often say to people, "we deserve most of the credit behind the fact that they can even play the piano."   Why?  Because, I'm the one that makes them practice.  I'm the one that for six years, has come up with motivational methods (rewards)  to keep their fingers drumming away at the keys, and I'm the one that disciplines them when they don't practice.  Here's a funny story and in the end one that I was very pleased with:

                About a year and a half ago, I asked Gwyneth to play me her songs the night before her piano lessons.  She sat down and could not play any of the four songs she had been assigned for the week.  This doesn't usually happen.  It just means that somehow, in the controlled chaos of our family, she flew under the radar and I never noticed she hadn't practiced.  At that time all I asked from her was about twenty minutes of practice per day.  So, I multiplied 20 minutes by 7 days in the week.  That's 140 minutes or 2 hours and 20 minutes.  I told her she better get started because that's how long she was going to practice.  It was about 7:00pm in the evening.  You can imagine what happened next.  Literal wailing and gnashing of teeth.  I calmly sat by and told her that whenever she wanted to get started was fine with me, but that, of course the more time spent crying was more time wasted.  She did this for twenty minutes.  Finally, she asked, "can I break it up into twenty minute increments and have a five minute break in between?"  I saw no reason why not, so I said, "sure."  The two hours and twenty minutes went by and she ended up playing the last hour with no breaks. 

                Now, to take a step back and reflect.  Some might say, "why not have let her feel the natural consequence of going to her lessons ill-practiced and embarrassed only to let her teacher deal with her."  Because we all know our children and I know mine.  Gwyneth would have cared less.  She would have thought, "great, I can sit there having not practiced and hear a little lecture from my teacher." 

                Guess what happened?  The next day at her piano lesson, she played all four songs and afterward, her teacher looked at her and said, "Great job, I can tell you really practiced these."  I of course sat there feeling like it was one of my greatest parenting moments ever but I also felt like it paid off.  In the car ride home I told Gwyneth, with total sincerity, that she was lucky if not blessed to have a mother like me, that would not only push her to fulfill her responsibilities and talents but also, to help her be the greatest person she can be. 

(Gwyneth's been playing for five years:  I love this piece, it has lots of emotion.  Can you hear the soldiers getting weary and slowing down? She played this just the other day).

     And then guess what happened next?  About a week later the Tiger Mom Article was written.  After I read it, I loved it.  Yes, there are some things in it that are totally taboo and un-relatable to American parents, like calling your children names but most of it rang true to my ears.  This was my favorite part of the article:

"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up."

(Reece has been playing for seven months!!! Just beginning, I love this stage because they love to practice!!!!)

I think this part of the article speaks for itself and I will end by saying this, the piano, once a fleeting thought is no more.  When I hear that word it does and will no doubt conjure up many memories of my children playing and trying.  Memories of our son playing the hymns for us during our Family Home Evenings, memories of children crying and pacing saying, "do I have toooooo," memories of beautiful music being produced in our own home.  For my children, I know they have learned some of the most valuable lessons on that bench.  Lessons on trying, not giving up, being motivated and most important that when you really put hard work and effort into something it grows into something fun.  And that is what I've seen happen with my own eyes, in my own home.  And for this what I love most today is the Piano and the "Tiger Mom"......but mostly the Piano.  :)

               
PS. My oldest son is learning about three different songs right now, one of them being his Christmas piece.  Look forward to his video in a month.