What I Love Most Today is Real Life.

This is a candid picture.  I was in the laundry room with the camera.  I walked in the kitchen and snapped this shot.  It's lunch time in this picture.  That's the lunch crew on the couch waiting to be fed.  Kalen is at the computer putting on some music to serenade us while we eat.  He loves music.  And for the record my island looks like this a lot.  Messy.  I'm always feeding some kind of person in this house, big or little.  This is my life.  All of this social media is so fun.  I've loved it.  But, it's also a very edited version of my life.  That's just the nature of this kind of media. 

For a while I've felt prompted to take a moment and reflect on some realities in my life.  While my blog is great fun, with reflections of love and happiness, joy and funny situations.  It's also not the whole truth.  How would I put the whole truth on my blog?  I guess I would just write about it, like I'm doing now.  But, it's not me.  I'm not one for lamenting, or airing my dirty laundry.  Call me old fashioned.  But, here I will be honest for the record.  This blog isn't super popular.  It gets about 150 views when I do a new post.  Most of these views are from people I really love.  So before you go thinking that my life is all roses and sunshine, it turns out my life is just like yours. 

I have seven kids.  Seven.  It's an interesting number.  I'll tell you why.  In this picture all seven of my children are present.  Does it really look like that many?  I don't think it does.  But, once I start thinking about each of them individually,  the time and effort that I put into praying for each one of them, for helping each one of them, for giving individual time to each of them and for loving each and every one of them...it's a lot of children.  And with that comes the inevitable woes of a mother. 

Am I doing enough?  Which one feels like a number instead of a kid?  What is going right in our home and what could be improved?  Don't get me wrong, please.  I have a great family and great kids.  But we are all human.  Very human.  Too human, if that's possible.  I'm a great mom, most days.  And I have days where I'd like to throw in the towel because  I feel spent, used and unappreciated.  I don't need to give specifics because I know you can relate.  It's life on this earth, with kids, families, homes, responsibilities and this list goes on and on.  I'm old enough now and have just enough wisdom to understand that we are all truly "in the same boat."  Our situations may be different, but we all have some burden from life's circumstances sitting on our shoulders.

With that said, I love my life.  Absolutely.  I'm a woman of action.  If my family needs redirecting in some area, we work together.  We try.  There is no way that I created this family only to stand by and watch things happen.  I will do whatever it takes to leave my hand print in their lives.  This is it.  This is my mission, these kids, my husband, my home.   It's messy.  Metaphorically speaking and literally, as you can see above.  It's the hardest thing I've endeavored to do; raise a family.  It's scary at times.  It's a huge calling.  But I'm embracing it through thick and thin, better or worse and trust me there are both.  I will always work hard for my family. 

I'm ever grateful for the gospel in my life.  I know the reality of receiving inspiration for individual children to know how to help them.  I know what it is to be inspired to do specific things for my family.  It is the atonement that carries me and it is also through the atonement that I find so much happiness and joy.  And I do, truly. 

So next time you view one of my blog posts about fairy tales or triumphs please know that to get to those triumphs there has been trial and error.  There have been some hard moments.  I am honestly not one to go on about the negativity's of life.  Like I said, it's not me.  Instead, I like to take those hard times and moments to learn and grow.  With great times will always come some hard times.  It's just life. And that's the way it was meant to be. 

What I Love Most Today is Real Life.