What I Love Most Today are Outtakes...

This is my final post, it's the 30th one to represent the last day in November.  I didn't want to write about something too simple or trivial.  Life is busy, it's hard, it's emotional, it's constant and it's thought provoking.  So that is what I'm going to write about.  My life is changing before my eyes.  Tonight, my oldest son and oldest daughter went off to youth group together at church.  As I watched them walk out the door I was filled with excitement.  My oldest daughter is beyond thrilled to be going to young women's, she is beside herself.  And as I look at both my oldest kids, they are turning into young adults, and it's wonderful.   

This final post is dedicated to the outtakes in life.  When I was a young mother, I hated the outtakes.  I remember hating awkward moments with my kids in the store, or being so uncomfortable with what kind of mother other people thought I might be or might not be.  Thank goodness those days are gone.  I make mistakes and I always will.  But somehow, thankfully, I realized that it is through the outtakes that we learn who we are and what we want; for ourselves, for our children and for our relationships.  

Tonight as I was saying prayers with Summer I just watched and listened as she bounced around her bed while saying her prayer..."I'm thankful that I wuv Jesus and Jesus wuvs me, I wuv my mommy and daddy and they wuv me, I'm thankful for colowing cwayons..." as I watched her summer salt all over her bed and bury her face in her pillow as she kept saying her prayer.  And it dawned on me that I may not have let her do that as a young mother.  I don't know?  I think I may have told her she needed to sit still and be reverent...and pray.  But, today Summer has a different mother.  I revel in watching her bounce around as she prays with her eyes wide open and happy as a clam.  Because I know that one day she will be reverent and she will actually kneel by her bed and go to her Heavenly Father in sincere prayer.  This is an example of what the outtakes have taught me.  

Having a family is no easy task.  It's hard work, day in and day out.  It never ends.  I've never been so consumed with thoughts for others than I am with my children.  Maybe it's just me, but I doubt it.  I'm a mother, I want things for my children, like all mothers.  Normal things, like happiness, a good work ethic, a desire to observe their personal religious beliefs.  I want these things for my children.  I also want them to have  a sense of humor about life, I want them to create, to love, to serve...and the list goes on.  

I can honestly say that now at 36 years old and the mother of 7 wonderful children that I wouldn't know where to begin helping my kids develop these qualities if it weren't for the outtakes in this life.  What do I mean by outtakes?  I mean the very things we all deal with. Anger, frustrations, disappointments, being let down, getting off track whether it be with routine at home, or elsewhere.  I'm talking about the things that make us stop and think...

During our recent trip to Utah, I read aloud to my husband, the great book called "7 Habits of Highly Effective Families," by Stephen Covey.  We've read it before but it's so good we reference it from time to time.  There are some things we'd like to be better at, some areas in our family life we'd like to reign in.  It's life, just plain life.  I'm thankful for resources like this because I did not become a mother knowing exactly what to do and how to do it.  But, going through the outtakes in my life so far, has brought me to sincere prayer, to ask for guidance, to look outside of myself and to really realize what my weaknesses are so that I can be a better person and a better guide for my family. I'm still learning and I always will be.  But, as the learning curve lessens and we set out to really make important the priorities that we've picked out for us as individuals and families, life is so much more enjoyable.  

I am always so happy to see mothers who seem to have this down without having gone through the ringer like me.  I see mothers who really enjoy their babies and young children without the worry and the nagging thoughts.  I see mothers who are confident from the start and I love it.  That wasn't me as a young mother, but it is now.

 Seven years ago I would have been really annoyed by these pictures.  Really annoyed.  But today, I love them.  They're hilarious.  I love these pictures because kids are kids and I know that there are other great pictures as well.  I love the outtakes now.

I've learned to relax, I've learned to enjoy and I've learned to be diligent.  Outtakes don't come to have us give up.  They come to have us strive to get the better picture.  And I can honestly say that through this process we will get beautiful pictures...

like this...

And this...

And definitely this.  

  We are here to strive and to look forward despite the outtakes, but we learn and grow because of them.  What I Love Most Today are Outtakes.